School girls & short skirts

We’ve hit a bit of a crises over here. One thing I’ve always done is sit outside staring at life go by – people, vehicles, birds – we’re not fussy at what.

Previously, being in New York or London, you could always guarantee something of interest – whether that was a woman throwing furniture at her boyfriend while they had breakfast, or some drug addict on ‘spice’ - standing beautifully still like a statue having whatever highs these exotic drugs deliver. Sometimes it was just a good old agitated truck driver yelling at the postman.  

However, I’m now stuck in a decrepit old town where the choices are rather less stimulating. I recently spent a few minutes staring at two buildings opposite of me which were to rent – and allowed myself to daydream about what possible tenants would want them, and how they must’ve been grand houses when the ancient Greeks were about, give or take a few years.

In my town, the people are either very old or very young. The pensioners do provide some entertainment – mostly due to their innovative methods of getting around – you don’t see many people using frames anymore, what with all those electric buggies and scooters.

Which leaves the yoof…

The other day, I was gently sipping away on a coffee while sitting by the war memorial - getting blasted by some arctic wind in my face.  

It was just after 3pm, which is when schools finish, as the English are generally so thick that it’s not worth bothering to extend schooling hours to try and cram stuff in to their grey matter.

Anyway, I realised that girls wear awfully short skirts as part of their school uniform. Now, for the viewers of this channel, I need to mention that I wasn’t looking at this in a perverted way – please trust me here – but rather more of a fatherly look of disapproval. The kind of, “don’t their parents say something about the length of that?”

But it dawned on me that I’ve never realised this before. When I was at school, surely girls were wearing short skirts – it can’t be a recent phenomenon – yet I have no memory of this. I’m sure I would’ve clocked short skirts – it’s not like I was doing much education back then.

It’s currently January – why the hell would you want to pull up your skirt to your ass and not wear tights?

I presume they’re rolled up or pulled up, or something like that – I generally find women’s clothing rather confusing.  And I doubt they manufacture scarfs in exactly the same material as skirts – so they can’t actually be that short by default.

My mother informs me that many girls wear a long skirt out the house, with a short one underneath for when they’re out of view of their parents. I’m not sure how she knows this as she's clocking on a bit to know it from her school days.

I imagine girls wear a skirt at such short lengths to try and seduce the little boys. It was probably always like this, but I had broadly thought that when you can send a picture of genitalia on chatsnap then seduction at school isn’t necessary anymore - especially as I doubt these young girls want to be honked at by some perverted tradesman in a white van.

I thought that the great equaliser of the internet was allowing women to flaunt their physical attributes solely in the direction that they’re intended - rather than having to deal with the attention of the general public, when you really just want Felix, aged 13, to be lusting over your legs – not that he’d really know what to do if offered up.

Back in my day, when dial-up internet connections existed and one family computer was placed in the living room, it meant that anything remotely sexual online was a no-go.  

I could look at some bikini pictures and pretend I was online shopping – but even that was rather dubious. This was in the days before being transgender, so my parents must’ve just thought I was a perverted teenager rather than transitioning. Tough to know which is better from a parent’s perspective.

Back then, seduction had to happen in person rather than online – so it made sense for girls to wear short skirts and whatever else they go for – coloured bras, unbuttoning their shirt and so on.

I’m not sure what men ever offered in the seduction game, very little is my guess, but this continues in to adulthood, where men generally offer very little.

Then again, the more I think about it, the more the whole online seduction thing becomes a bit weird. I mean, teenagers and online conjures up the whole Chat Roulette with a 50-year-old in Sri Lanka feeling – which isn’t ideal either.

If I had a daughter, I’d probably prefer her to be prancing around the local town in a short skirt rather than chatting to overseas odd-balls on the interwaff.

And when I think about it more, it’s not like clothing and appearance has become more conservative as we all move online. A point in case being gyms – where clothing seems to get skimpier and tighter as the years progress – none of those early 1990s Kappa or Le Coq Sportif baggy sweats.

Perhaps it’s actually moving in the opposite direction – as we all remain firmly glued to our phones?

Nowadays, it takes something even more outrageous or revealing to distract men from their pixilated screens: “oh look, a girl walking along the street in a thong – but I need to like some LinkedIn post about crypto investments – so whatever.”

Anyway, I’m still not sure school uniforms need skirts at that length. If I ran a school I would insist on knee length skirts – which I’m sure everyone would ignore.  

Maybe I’m just entering the male age of disgust - where any revelation of flesh is overbearing. It’s probably a natural reaction all men go through to avoid being called a pervert – I can only imagine how outraged I’ll be when I next visit a beach.